21 RULES FOR BEING A LADY (Poem)

Poetry

Apr 7

Hey, y’all! Today’s National Poetry Writing Month prompt is to write a poem that plays with the idea of a list. Here’s my poem:

21 RULES FOR BEING A LADY

To be a lady,

you mustn’t be

too loud,

too dark,

too masculine,

or too skinny.

Focus on femininity.

Be so gentle

that when you say no, it’s inaudible.

Find a man to support you, but

never ask for money.

In public, dress conservatively.

At home, complain sparingly—

in fact, don’t complain at all.

Stand tall, but not too tall.

Watch what you eat,

what you wear,

how you style your hair.

Make sure your skin is clear.

Always wear clean underwear.

Be a dream, not a nightmare.

Being a lady can be a nightmare—

Sorry, Freudian slip.

When you wear a dress or skirt, wear a slip.

When you wear heels, don’t trip

because the fall is hard.

Yes, I know all of this sounds hard,

but close your eyes and it’ll hurt less.

Well-dressed poet, theatre artist, and breast cancer survivor.

THE MIRACLE TEA (Poem)