Farah Lawal Harris

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Last Night, Some Feedback Saved My Life

"I never sleep, cuz sleep is the cousin of death." -Nas

I am not a good sleeper. As a child, I delayed bedtime by saying "Good night" to every inanimate object my little eyes could see. As a teenager, I stayed up in Blackplanet chat rooms. As an adult, the only times I've slept well are when my health summoned me to sit down.

This year, I've slept about as little as I did when my son was a newborn. I found any excuse to be up in the wee hours of the night: loading the dishwasher, sweeping floors, watering plants, catching up on my favorite series, writing, etc. And I have experienced more health challenges than usual this year.

I didn't make the connection between lack of sleep and my declining health until I watched a video on YouTube featuring sleep researcher Matt Walker. In the video, Walker spoke about the many health risks associated with sleep deprivation: car accidents, heart disease, the inability to retain information, Alzheimers, dementia, etc. I told my husband about the video and confessed to how few hours of sleep I'd been getting. He was shocked; days later, when I told my therapist, her jaw dropped.

Those reactions were eye-opening. I was sleeping so little for so long that it became my norm. But the feedback I received from them--the concerned looks in their eyes and the disbelief that I could still function while being severely sleep deprived--convinced me to change. I do not believe I would have been as motivated to change my sleep habits without receiving this feedback.

Feedback is so important in life. It provides an opportunity to see ourselves through the eyes of others. I know that all feedback is not created equal, but hearing the opinions of people who genuinely care can be lifesaving. It certainly was for me.