What Are You Trying to Prove?
Essays Farah Lawal Harris Essays Farah Lawal Harris

What Are You Trying to Prove?

"Every time I get sick, it feels like God is telling me to slow down and reevaluate my intentions. Recently, I’ve been asking myself: What am I trying to prove? Am I falling into the same patterns of overdoing it, trying to 'do it big' instead of focusing on the simple, meaningful parts of my work? If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in the cycle of striving, ask yourself this: Who does this action serve?"

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From Busy to Well: How Cancer Taught Me to Truly Live
Essays Farah Lawal Harris Essays Farah Lawal Harris

From Busy to Well: How Cancer Taught Me to Truly Live

Cancer forced my life into stillness. In that quiet, I noticed the silence of artistic colleagues who knew I was sick but never reached out. I felt the emptiness of achievements that once seemed so important when my health was on the line. Slowly, I shifted my focus inward, learning to embrace the profound value of family and spirituality over the external validation I once chased.

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Overcoming Self-Doubt
Essays Farah Lawal Harris Essays Farah Lawal Harris

Overcoming Self-Doubt

I asked myself, “Am I too late? Did I wait too long to start this plan or this journey?”

A thought immediately came to my mind:

“Girl, how are going to be late to your own life?”

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“You Should Write a Book!”
Essays Farah Lawal Harris Essays Farah Lawal Harris

“You Should Write a Book!”

If God granted me $5 every time someone told me I should write a book about my journey through breast cancer, I’d be able to buy a new pair of retro Nike Jordan 4’s by now. How do you write about a journey that is not over?

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Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself!
Essays Farah Lawal Harris Essays Farah Lawal Harris

Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself!

My name is Farah Lolade Aduke Iyabode Harris. Most people know me as Farah Lawal Harris, a name I love because it identifies some of my intersections. Farah means "joy" in Arabic--My Muslim father and Christian mother gave me that name because I shifted the energy of grief…

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Impulse Decisions
Essays Farah Lawal Harris Essays Farah Lawal Harris

Impulse Decisions

Have you ever made an impulse decision that you immediately regretted? The last time I did this was when I was on a staycation with my family this past June. My son and I went to a horse and car show where there were different vendors selling their wares. I didn’t plan to shop—we were there to see the cool, classic cars. But a jewelry stand caught my eye.

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Stop Hoarding Information!
Essays Farah Lawal Harris Essays Farah Lawal Harris

Stop Hoarding Information!

OK, picture this...

You are very accomplished in your career. You invested time and money to learn how to do what you do as well as you do it. You made some embarrassing mistakes when you were just an amateur, but you learned from them and improved your skillsets. You experienced rejection, lack of interest from gatekeepers, and underpayment for your time and services. You've failed many times--privately and publicly. But now…

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The Support Struggle
Essays Farah Lawal Harris Essays Farah Lawal Harris

The Support Struggle

Until more recently than I would like to admit, I used to count the empty seats at my theatre performances. The empty seats were a visual representation of the people I expected to support me who did not show up. I kept a tally because, in my mind, my closest friends and family were not meeting my expectations of what it meant to support me. Then I would spiral:

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Beauty Head-to-Toe
Essays Farah Lawal Harris Essays Farah Lawal Harris

Beauty Head-to-Toe

I was pole-thin until I hit puberty in the 6th grade. At 11 years old, I was oblivious to the pace at which my straight lines were becoming curves. Then one day, a couple of frenemies pulled me aside to tell me there was a rumor going around school that I stuffed my bra. I felt embarrassed and ashamed.

On that day, my body became a prison. I was hyper-aware of my figure—the way it was looked at, spoken about, and touched. I noticed how with each change, people treated me differently.

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